“Can’t Touch This” blared out of my stereo over and over, we thought we could never get sick of a song THAT good.  Over the tunes I could hear yelling coming out of the living room, which was adjacent to my bedroom.  It was my mom and my step-dad.  I was suddenly so embarrassed, I wanted [ ] to want to come back and stay sometime, not for her to be scared.  I quickly reached over and turned MC Hammer up a few notches as I looked at [ ] and laughed nervously.

We continued talking about how cute the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle shirts were that our “husbands” wore. We were interrupted by a loud crash.  I tensed up and cringed, I became terrified to go into my own living room, afraid of what I might see.  Before I had a chance to go see what was going on, my door slammed open.  My  was screaming “LOOK WHAT HE DID TO ME!”  I couldn’t see anything though, just a blood soaked towel that she was holding up to her mouth.  It was like I was in slow motion, trying to take in way too much information that I was not ready for.  My 3 month old baby brother was screaming in my mom’s arms.  His tiny face was faced away from her.  It was purple and wrinkled, he was afraid.  He just stared at me and cried bloody murder, he looked so confused.

I asked mom to pull the towel away from her face.  Slowly I saw it. Her upper lip had an inch or longer gouge in it, I caught a glimpse of her blood stained teeth through the cut.  [ ] grabbed my baby brother and tried to comfort him, and probably herself for that matter.  I ran out of my room to find my step-dad, he was calmly vacuuming up the potting soil that was all over the floor from the plant he knocked over.  I could have easily killed that man.  I yelled and screamed at the prick, begging him to take my mom to the emergency room to get stitches.  He was so calm.  I even assured him that I would finish cleaning up all the broken things, if he would just take her.  He was moving so slow.

I told my mom that I loved her and that everything was going to be okay, how reassuring coming from an eleven year old.  They left.  I tried not to think about how scared I was.  The man who just did that to my mom was taking her to the hospital.  I was praying to God that the easy-going, somewhat likeable [ ]  was the one taking her and  not the psychotic fuck up that we just saw.  Mom told Dr. [ ]  that she was trying to re-hang a mirror and it fell on her face.  He knew she was lying, mom was never very good at it.  Meanwhile, [ ] was getting some rest in the corner of the emergency room while mom was getting stitches on her face between her nose and lip.

Later, I got the  whole story. Mom and [ ] were talking about money issues, which let up to a fight.  This was fairly common, money was a touchy subject to him.  Somewhere along the line he dumped a glass of wine on mom, in return she spit at his face.  He then grabbed the small but extremely heavy mirror with inch and a half molding and threw it at her face, she was holding my little brother, his son.

My mom got over 20 stitches that time.  The next day is when the bruising came.  Both of her eyes were black, not blue but black.  My mom is not a stupid person, but she felt stuck.  She had two kids to support on a day-care provider income.  She also remembered before they were married, when he was the nicest guy she could have mt.  He took away every  ounce of dignity and self-esteem that she used to have.  He degraded her in every way he knew how, physically, mentally, and verbally.

Domestic abuse is not something you can prepare for.  You can at look at someone and know that they have raging violent tempers.  Not by size or personality. My mom is the strongest woman I have ever known.  She’s feisty, stubborn, and often even bitchy.  She would tell you the same.  I remember I met one of my friends’ moms and told her who my mom was.  All she could say is “your mom is a strong woman”.  My point is this, she never put up with anyone’s shit,  except his.  My mom, the invincible  woman I envied, lost herself for a very long time.

About five years later, my mom had had enough. She sat me down for the best talk of my life.  She told me that she was going to file for a divorce, but I had to help her.  She warned me that things were going to be really tough and that I would have to commit to helping her do everything from splitting and loading in firewood to screening the phone calls when bill collectors would start calling.  I would do anything to get that awful man away from us…

Things were tough for us, my mom had a very difficult time buikding her self back up after she had fallen so hard.  Anything was better than going home to a living hell, though, we both agreed.  My mom wondered sometimes if my brother remembers any of what happrened when he was a baby.  I reassure her that he doesn’t, god I hope not.

I learned at a very young age how to be an adult.  I do not regret at all what happened, nor am I up here telling a sob story, it’s just the ups and downs of life.  I look at it this way, if mom hadn’t married [ ], I wouldn’t have my awesome little brother that always keeps me laughing.  I wouldn’t know what it was like to really struggle, or to be thankful for what I do have.  I am so happy that I was not a sheltered child, that I know a little bit more about life than some people.  These were the hardest times I have ever known, but wouldn’t erase them for anything.

( A personal story of heart break and life ~ she is a beautiful, loving, together woman of 30. A strong girl now woman. )

The next time you run into someone who is saying how bad off the country is under President Obama, remind them of this!!!
Here is the other side.
What do you think?

We had eight years of Bush and Cheney, Now you get mad!

You didn’t get mad when the Supreme Court stopped a legal recount and appointed a President..

You didn’t get mad when Cheney allowed Energy company officials to dictate energy policy.

You didn’t get mad when a covert CIA operative got ousted.

You didn’t get mad when the Patriot Act got passed..

You didn’t get mad when we illegally invaded a country that posed no threat to us.

You didn’t get mad when we spent over 600 billion(and counting) on said illegal war.

You didn’t get mad when over 10 billion dollars just disappeared in Iraq .

You didn’t get mad when you found out we were torturing people.

You didn’t get mad when the government was illegally wiretapping Americans.

You didn’t get mad when we didn’t catch Bin Laden.

You didn’t get mad when you saw the horrible conditions at Walter Reed.

You didn’t get mad when we let a major US city drown.

You didn’t get mad when we gave a 900 billion tax break to the rich.

You didn’t get mad when the deficit hit the trillion dollar mark, and our debt hit the thirteen trillion dollar mark.

You finally got mad when the government decided that people in America deserved the right to see a doctor if they are sick. Yes, illegal wars, lies, corruption, torture, stealing your tax dollars to make the rich richer, are all okay with you, but helping other Americans… oh heck no.

Send this to everyone you know.(got this in an email)

~~~~~~~~~

April 20,2010

It’s weird sitting there behind a 50 cal, a MK 19, and a 240 sitting in villages watching the kids run around and play cricket and soccer just beyond my barrels.. I don’t feel like a belong here and i just try to tell myself that I’m helping these people.. []  now were just here to help the population get on its feet..

[]

We roll around with the afghanistan national army or hike through the mountains just trying to weed the taliban out of the population..

But honestly.. it doesn’t seem like they hardly exist anymore..

I heard a story on the Spokane News tonight…. KHQ…. about a young man (just barely older than my son that is in Afghanistan in the war)…a young 20 year old man making a bomb from an old refrigerator. He may have bought some of the ingredients online as they are available the report said. This young man is now in critical condition in hospital…His girlfriend called 911… The man blew off both his pants. Why? Who knows…. I will report as I hear more…..

Here is the report from KHQ~Spokane:}

http://www.khq.com/Global/story.asp?S=12335838

Also: online at KLEW Lewiston, Idaho

http://www.klewtv.com/news/local/91560334.html

Here’s a link about the incident:  http://www.khq.com/Global/story.asp?S=12289648 … this is right in my back yard.

Unhub and I did the 2000 census together.  It was different then. It was before we elected a black president.  It was before the haters, racists, and angry ones came out of their holes. I would not do the census now in these United States. You never know who got angered over the edge to insanity.

I painfully found my voice as a teen.. painfully because I was so terrified of everyone including myself. I forced myself to speak up. To stand up for others. It was a long process.  Over time, I was able to ask questions without being afraid, to state an opinion. You see, I had to do this. I couldn’t be like my mother. I always say she wouldn’t say SHIT if she had a mouthful. She had been abused at age 15 by my biological father. Beaten and treated like dirt. Her second marriage was an older version of the same. Her third was abusive mentally. She never escaped it. I  remember my mother from the fourth grade being weird. Everyone being hush-hush about why. It was not to be talked about. My mother was mentally ill by then…and married to her third husband who was also abusive mentally to me. So it was a matter of survival to learn to speak up. No one else was speaking up for me. So then I started to find my voice and to use it.

Now, I may have to silence my voice because of these far right angry people that live too close for comfort? Now I have to fear what I say and to whom I say it, just in case? I don’t think I can do that.

What happened to Freedom? Did the big corporations, media, and the other loud voices take it away from us? Did they take away freedom except for the rich and powerful? They still have their freedom.

I voted for Obama. I am proud that I did. I am a liberal minded person believing in equal rights for all of humanity and compassion for all living things on this Earth.

Hear me. Hear us. We ARE the majority.